Little stories like the one I am about to tell really drive home the need to keep things non-doggie edibles out of paws reach. It also adds an extra layer of making sure to move things that can be used as ladders or stools to get to those things we think are out of paws reach.


Today, we were not going anywhere, but did walk out the front door car keys in hand to grab some stuff from the car. I was only outside maybe two or three minutes and when I walked the house I had to shake my head to process what i was seeing. Right before my eyes was a 40 pound dog slinking off of a four-foot high table, over the chair stool, on to the floor and over to one of her lounging areas.  She was quick!

When I looked over at her, she just put her ears back gave a huge fake yawn and turned away. “Oh yeah! You look so innocent sitting over there, Phoebe. I must be hallucinating.”

Adding fuel to this felonious caper is learning that it was not the first time; she was returning to complete the crime she started last week.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

About two weeks ago we put out some of those candy corn things – the ones that people either love or hate. I can’t stand them. Hubby can’t eat them and I never really recall my son being a big fan. Yet, the day after we added these wanna-be candies next to the fake cornucopia display they were nearly all gone. One bowl was empty, and the other had a few stragglers, ten or so. The likely suspect was my son.

I figured out a diplomatic way to ask, “What the hell? I can’t believe you ate all those things! It’s so rude.” Alright, so it wasn’t diplomatic, but it got the point across. He swore up and down that he didn’t touch them. Fine. I was still convinced it was him, so I feel bad.

The Flashback

History has made me wary. About 6 months ago, we had a Valentine candy display and it mysteriously went missing. Of course no one in the house fessed up to eating it.  What are the odds? Was I really supposed to believe that some mysterious candy gnome snuck into the house while we were all at home, stuffed his little gnome hat full of candy and vanished into thin air? I guess so.

The Epiphany

The candy was on display in the morning. It was there when we went to bed (or so I thought). However, earlier in the evening Phoebe was wandering around whining and generally was not a happy camper. Coincidentally, someone in the neighborhood was setting of firecrackers (who the hell knows why), and we attributed Phoebe’s general state of well-being to that. My son got home from work after everyone was in bed, and the next morning when I get up the candy is gone. The little angel Phoebe was in her crate all night, so naturally, the little princess was innocent.

Proven and Guilty

After catching Phoebe with her paw in candy cup today, I pulled out my forensic kit (the camera).

It is wonderful thing the way that vacuuming moves all the dust from the floor to the furniture. It’s even better that I didn’t get around to dusting yet.

With a few clicks of the camera, I saw with my own disenchanted little eyes that Phoebe was the guilty party all along. She was able to hop on the table, make her rounds to the opposite side, return to the start and try to leave the scene  all in the matter of a few of minutes.